You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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