Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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