He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
