Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bang-toberfest begins!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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