Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
