Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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