You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I looked at my own cervix.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
