i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
