my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
