Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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