I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
