i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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