All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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