have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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