To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
