But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
