Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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