What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
