4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
