so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
