is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
