She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
