dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
