his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You made out with two different species that night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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