just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
