Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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