dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Your penis caused this!
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