I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
