just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
