Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We got so high we made milksteak
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
