yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
