We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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