i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
MIDGETS
????
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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