They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
