new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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