i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
