yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
