the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it because I queefed?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
