Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
