Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize