This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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