So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
