No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize