Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
