Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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