it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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