i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
