What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i've created a new STD.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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