TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
