it hurts more in the daytime
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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