I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
whose parrot is this?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
