there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
As shirtless as possible
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
