he wants to bone in the snuggie
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
