He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
