I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize