i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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