Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
