maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
