Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
