Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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