i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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