Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to make out with him forever
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
