forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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