Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
