Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
