$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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